Transformative Pain

Shiny glass marbles fill the jars of my mind.

Gingerly I plinck one out. A pink and red flowered orb rolls between palms. A mix of petals spell a four letter word: P -A -I -N. Braced for familiar thistles that scab pick, I hold loosely. This time isn't the same. This time warm healing infuses my hands. I did not expect this.

Another marble, same healing.

Each marble a conundrum.

Pain that heals.
Let go to hang on.
Die. And life is birthed.

Dabbing my scrapped knees, I take in the rabbit hole these paradoxical marbles have pushed me down. This upside down kingdom opens doors to a new world. Am I Alice? Dare I walk into the memories and buried emotions?

Yes, this time I do. Gathered marbles and I head out the small door... that leads down a narrow path. Wandering to a broad field with blades of peace and a brook babbling freedom.

I sit next to the living water, stretching my marbles in a line. Left left left right left they march into my willing fingers. Gingerly I cradle a black and blue globe.

Pain mercifully kisses redemption into my bruised hand. All better?

Not yet. But soon; soon.

~Soon disappointment resurfaces as wisdom for a girl I mentor
~Harsh words lobbed at me refresh my mind to tame my tongue toward another
~Rejection feeds passion to keep home fires burning, welcoming others to my heart & home

Letting go of the pain, I catch hold of the truth: He makes all things new. He makes all things good.

The more I roll the pains around, eeking out their redemptions, the lighter my heart. The lighter the marbles. Until they transform into winged prayers of gratitude, catching flight on the currents of praises to the heavens for what the Lord has done.

Gladly will I lose these marbles for the healing and redemption found. You too?

Going Deeper

Carve out time to sit quietly in the Lord's presence. Open your palms as you pray, signifying letting go of the pain {and memories birthed out of it}, and receiving the redemption, truth and healing available.

What pains readily come to mind? Ask the Lord how He can and will redeem these.

Can you share these pains with a friend over coffee or during a walk? Ask her to pray, seeking wisdom for pain's lasting transformation.

Memorize this upside down verse: Zephaniah 9:12, Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you. Click here to unpack this verse.

xoxo, Sam

Go deeper still on our Jumping off the Train {of negative thought} series!