January 23, 2011

The Song Remembers When

How're you doing on your train {of thought} ride? Me? Today I was oh-so-tempted to jump on a train that woulda transported me to a promising time of talking about marriage, children and the future. Back to a time when Mr. Kinda Right swept me fast and furious off the ground. Back to a time when he serenaded me with a simple song-- "Our Song." And that song friends is what tempted me to jump onto that train.

That train travels down Sweet Memory Lane, but the journey ends in a deep depression that took a year to crawl out of.

Like Trisha crooned, the song remembers when. What she didn't warn was that the song will kick a girl in her shins and tear its nasty craggy fingernails into her healed wound if allowed to. Sister Hazel's lovely song Best I'll Ever Be captures my sentiments exactly.

Days past, I would've played along, believed that was the best I'd be, and stewed in the memories fraught with pain. All I can say is it's like when you have a toothache, but it still feels so good to grind your teeth... even though it hurts and is more damaging. (Am I the only one who does that??)

That inviting pain train caught me off-guard as I breezed through the radio stations today. Oooohh, girl! Let me tell you: I wanted to listen. To remember. To wallow. To think. Think negative thoughts, "He would've stayed...

IF I were smarter
IF I had compromised
IF I were thinner
IF my teeth were straighter
IF IF IF... "

But your accountability stopped me from jumping aboard that train of thought and I flipped the station. Thank you very much!

Remember that playground taunt, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? Pashaw! False. Words from others injure; true. But you know, our words to ourselves injure a whole lot too. R
eplace the word "word" with "thoughts" and the same applies.

So today, I chose to turn off the song, turn off the temptation, turn off the thoughts...and jump off this train: "
A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips {thoughts} are a snare to his soul" {Proverbs 18}. And jump on this train: "The one who has knowledge uses words {thoughts} with restraint...The words {thoughts} of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. {Proverbs 17} & {Proverbs 12}

Hey, how are you doing?

I want to leave off with this adorable ditty sung by one of my most favorite {can't stress favorite enough!!} musicians, Phil Keaggy. Now this is the kinda song I can jump onboard with!


pinkdaisyjane said...

Praise God that you recognized the potential train wreck and got on another train!

I've been there and I am praying for you tonight!

Kandi said...

Oh sweet Sam I know that feeling all too well. It wasn't long after that I stumbled across an article written on that very subject. Although it didn't take the hurt away it put things in perspective. As right as it seemed to me, God headed off that train wreck that I was barreling into full steam. Blessings to you.

Eileen said...

"our words to ourselves injure a whole lot too." So very true. Most of the time we tend to be our worst critics! Romans 12:2 But be transformed my the renewing of our minds. This has to be an ongoing process. Glad you got off the train too :)

Also really love that song! Can't help but smile when you hear it.

Lorna said...

I've always wanted to take a 'train ride' - doesn't matter to where - I just want to get on and go. But, the 'train ride' that I've been on in my head is taking me somewhere I don't want to go. Therefore, I'm getting off that train and jumping on the one that goes to Heaven!

Thanks for honestly writing about your journey.

Becky said...

I'm so glad to have found your post. I do this very thing. My marriage wasn't great by anymeans, but I can imagine it was. I can sit and remember each sweet thing he said and cry. When it happens I just pray and pray that God will take it away. I needed to read this. Thanks!

Fields of gold said...

So glad y'all are here! It's always nice to have traveling companions. I've been praying for each of you as the Lord ministers to us as we let go of old thought patterns and take hold of new ones.

may you feel His sweet embrace today! Hugs! Sam