If you're visiting from Melissa Taylor's online Bible study with Stephanie Clayton today, welcome! Thanks for checking in. I've been praying for you.
One of my first jobs out of school was in a nursing home. You could peel the layers of pain in the air. Lined up in the solarium were gray heads. Feeble bodies and souls shut down and checked out. Hours passed as they stared hard at something unseen, responded to nothing. Fully awake, but not alert.
Bells jingled to stimulate hearing. Puppets danced to divert empty stares. Feathers brushed hands in hopes of touching the life inside. A variety of things were used to draw them back from the emptiness.
Truth be told, my soul crawled to a similar void when pain hit. I built a barrier: closed my ears, eyes and heart. Pain and accusations wiggled in the recesses of my mind and lied-God is not enough nor does He care. Fear and shame ran circles round and round till I was sick with wondering where the Lord’s hand was. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from the mistrust and hurt. And eventually I became like the elderly in the nursing home. Dead inside and unresponsive to the voice of love.
Friends, the more days stuck staring, the longer it took for the nursing home residents to come back to the land of the living. I wonder, with all you've endured, have you retreated to an empty space too? Built a barrier? Focused solely on the circumstances?
Please, if you've looked away from Him, can't take your eyes of the harm and pain...
If your ears are blocked and heart turned off--found solace in drinking, sex, the internet, food, busyness--will you consider opening up just one more time? Cast a glance upward, feel His touch. Awaken to the sweet gentle voice of our Maker through His Word. Start by praying these simple words
Lord, thank You for Your healing. Please forgive me for drawing away from You. Here I am. Please open my eyes and heart to hear You as you draw close to me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Wait on Him friend...He is near. He sang these kind words over me and somehow, they registered. I pray you hear Him singing over you too.
"Do not fear, do not let your hands hang limp.
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
~Zeph. 3:16-17
We've been Jumping off the Train {of Negative Thoughts}. Care to join us? Catch up here!
~Beautiful Girl, William Fitzsimmons {Lyrics}
xoxo, sam
11 comments:
Thank you for your visiting us at Melussa Taylor's blog with Stephanie, your post over there touched me greatly as I commented on that blog! Your post here grabbed me even more....I don't know how many times in the last 6 weeks I gave described and emptiness inside me, knowing that wasn't exactly right but you nailed it for me tonight as I read this -- I am dead on the inside and unresponsive to love!!!! And now it's literally killing me to everything around me, now I get irritated at my family for needing or wanting anything from me, I am angry all the time, I can't even remember what it's like to be happy and carefree!!! I hate this prison I have created for myself and I want to live again!!!!! Thank you for your encouraging posts!!!
Hi Sam,
So glad you are writing, I have missed reading your wonderful thought provoking words.
I remember my days of being dead on the inside, and it kills everything on the outside, it took a long time to come back to the living,it was a long painful road but oh my so worth the trip I will be praying for all those fighting to come back from the land of the dead into the life of the living with Jesus, keep fighting it is a journey and a destination that is so worth it.
Blessings to you Sam.
I'm so tired of being this way. Of dreading the day before it comes. I do remember a time when I didn't really think at all. I was happy care free. I just lived. Now I don't feel like I'm living. I'm surviving. I long to whistle again. To skip just because. I know I didn't get to this place overnight and it's going to take some work and action to live again. I'm willing to be teachable now. Thanks for praying for me. I will pray for all of u as well.
Believing still, kim
Oh, Sam, you once again have moved my heart. Praying for each and every one of us...that we would have the COURAGE in Christ to take our eyes off our pain...off our circumstances...and place them completely on Him. May we look full in His wonderful face and never ever take our gaze away. In Him alone is the fullness of JOY. He IS our EVERYTHING as the beautiful words to this song profess.
I LOVE you, sweet friend.
Wendy
Beautifully said, Sam. I actually blogged about our spiritual eyes today and the importance of keeping them focused on Him. Our willingness to do this makes all the difference in our journeys to heal.
Dear Veronica,
Friend, I hear you and have been in that place before myself. I wonder, how you are filling yourself back up with the Word, worship, and quietness by sitting still in His presence.
We can only give what we have. Sounds like life has taken quite a bit out of you. I pray for refreshment and refilling as you put back in HIS love, patience and peace. He's with you, friend!
Thanks for your encouragement and sweet words.
xoxo, sam
Hi Kandi, thanks friend!! I'm trying my hand at writing fiction, and have had to be oh so disciplined in doing that to meet a deadline. But i've missed my bloggy friends and reading your words too.
Your heart is so sweetly refined and drips wisdom and grace from a deep well of knowledge. It's clear you spend time at Jesus' feet, listening, soaking in.
Thanks for your kindness! Hope you're well!
xoxo, sam
Dear Kim,
Your last words struck me the most: "Believing still."
Sister, the wonders God can perform with a heart moldable and willing. I will pray for you as you test your wings again and dare to live fully. I know that can be a scary prospect, but it's oh so worth it. If you get a chance, please read the comment above yours from Kandi. She says it better than I can!
I know you're weary, but I pray you sense the Lord's strength to get through the next moment, the next day, the next month. And that one day you wake up and realize joy is bubbling over within your spirit.
Much love to you as you lean into Him. ~ Sam
Wendy, thank you!!! I wrote this in a foggy sinus-infection haze, so your words encourage me a lot!!
Melissa and I talked today about your book and said how you perfectly laid out a plan to move from the pain to the foot of the cross and heart of God. Thank you for that friend!! He is worthy of our constant gaze. Praying for hearts to realize and grasp His beauty.
LOVE LOVE LOVE you!!
sam
Eileen, I've said it once, I'll say it again... you are so wise! I'd have no healing if I hadn't / didn't keep my eyes on Him and His character. One of my favorite thoughts is, "When we can't trace his hand, we should trace His character." Healing is found in who He is.
Gonna check your post out!!
xoxo, sam
Sam, you can write it down so clearly. I built barriers myself, high walls, from the outside looking strong, but inside feeling dead. Last years I get to know God and I feel He is going into every dead place in me, opens doors that were closed and showing me how to love and live. After that I can let people get in those places too, but He was there first. Now learning to live not focused on circumstances but knowing He has a plan for me, but it's hard at times, HJ is helping me. Thanx for your writing! Love, Ingrid
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