C&E

Talking about Javier's salvation this week got me thinking about my own. Something he said in the Q&A dug up some dirt in my soul. Particularly this answer he gave--

This was earth shattering to me: that the King of all kings would send His only Son to die for ME and forgive all my sins. I still love thinking about that.

Here's the ugly truth: I don't "still love thinking about that." Not like Jav does. I mulled this over with my friend Wendy.

I said, "Wendy, I rarely contemplate and joy in Jesus' gift of His death and life. Except...except at Christmas. And...well, of course at Easter. {cue light bulb} Wendy! I think I'm a C&E christian!"

You know...the peeps that show up at church only on Christmas & Easter. Realization: I lose the wonder of it all until I celebrate Advent, read the Christmas story, set out my nativity set. Or until I step into Ash Wednesday/Maundy Thursday/Good Friday/Easter Sunday week.

I'm not saying this to be all wowzie-wowzie-woo-woo. That's just the blatant truth that saddens me. It's the homesick kind of sadness that rears this ugly head: I've taken all the goodness of home for granted.

I'm not comfortable with being so comfortable with Jesus. I'm not pleased that I take for granted all He has done/does/will do. It's not fair to Him, me, or others that may be watching my relationship with Him. You see, I grew up in a christian home. I am l-o-a-d-e-d with church, Sunday school, VBS, youth group, Bible studies, prayer groups, conferences. You could say I'm weathered, old hat, been-there/done-that/bought the t-shirt {that's right, I said it!}

When your mom cooks your fav meal for you each time you visit, it's easy to not notice how delicious it is or the hard work it takes. When your dad fills your car up with gas time and again, it's easy to not notice as you cruise out of town. When you curl up safe in the same bed year after year, it's easy to not appreciate the soft warmth. Yes, it's easy to forget the love Christ showed us when He died and resurrected. We {I} need that appreciation and wonder to be restored.

That all came to me in the morning. Later in the day I checked my friend Eileen's blog post. Boy.oh.boy.

The title? "Restore Me."

Her beautiful, simple words of truth beckon my homesick heart. And the song she posted {see below} resonates. I don't want to wait for Christmas to roll around to pray this prayer, Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. ~Psalm 51. I'm going home with a restored perspective, restored appreciation and restored heart.

How about you?

But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. ~Psalm 13:5