July 22, 2008

One Way Out: Part I

“Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” ~2 Cor. 1:21

How’s your job going? Maybe you’re currently looking for a job? For three long years I was desperate to leave my old job. Misery: an understatement. Desire to leave quickly morphed into a dire need when told I was to sponsor two Pro-Choice organizations at an event I hosted. Appealing several times was of no use.

Only one option remained: quit. Wisdom would say to have a new job lined up first, so job-hunting quickly moved to the top of Priorities. A deep love for children naturally led me to nannying. Within a week of looking I interviewed with a sweet family. Amazing in every way, I was ecstatic when offered the position!! I provisionally accepted their offer when the bomb was dropped.

“This isn’t the right one. Back out and leave. I’ve got something else … something to equip you better.”

“Nooooo…please God, let me leave and accept this job!! The Event is only three weeks away!! I have to quit now. And I can’t do that without a new job lined up first!”

“Hear me. This is not my will.”

Ignoring God’s directives hasn’t proven effective in the past. As much as my flesh didn’t want to, I turned down the awesome nanny position.

Walking on soggy carpet in my home was common during this time. Every night I would crawl through the door, drop my belongings and lay on the floor in a sobbing heap.

I couldn’t find peace or rest, knowing the Event loomed over me; I had to quit my job or host abortion-related companies; and, my bank account wasn’t going to stretch far without a steady income. Wrestling over this took much out of me. Much flesh, much fear, much doubt. The depths of mistrust in God’s sustenance were abundantly clear. My heart broke seeing my lack of dependence on His sovereignty. Joel 2 urges us to return to the Lord with weeping and mourning, and that I did!

God was with me each night I crumpled on the floor. He spoke to me to leave my job and that somehow, someway, He would provide a way in the desert (Isaiah 43). Little did I know then how amazingly He would!

Stay tuned tomorrow to read the rest of the story!

“Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.” ~Psalm 36:5

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