"You are a hiding place for me; You, Lord, preserve me from trouble, You surround me with songs of victory and deliverance. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!" ~Psalm 32:7
Gray hair. Feeble, frail frame. Sitting in a lonesome chair. Staring at something. Responding to nothing. Working in a nursing home, I saw residents who were awake, but not alert. They would never divert their hard gaze or acknowledge your existence. Anything said was not registered or received. Rubber, meet glue.
There are many things we focus on, a good portion of those are not the Lord. Why is it so difficult to maintain a steady gaze on God and take in what He says? I can think of a few reasons: doubt, fear, mistrust, hurt.
Hmmm…not very attractive qualities. The truth is these things tempt eyes off the Provider and Sustainer. They wiggle into the recesses of minds and lie that God is not all we need. They twirl dizzying circles till we’re sick with wondering where the Lord’s hand is. They taunt resting in the arms of the Mighty One isn’t safe. And harden our hearts to become unresponsive to the sensitivity of the Holy Spirit.
Yesterday a harsh reality left me spinning. Uncertainty smattered doubt in the sovereignty of God. Ugly aches and pains sprawled everywhere. Energy was zapped by this reality’s sucker punches. So I just sat there and stared. Not at the Lord. No no, at my grief and doubt. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from the mistrust and hurt. And eventually I became like the elderly woman in the nursing home.
Sitting in my lonesome chair, feeling feeble and frail, nothing could divert my gaze from the emotions birthed from the reality. No encouragement from friends, no prayers, no thoughtful words were registered or received. Even the Lord speaking kind and gentle words bounced off me.
And then this morning, half awake my heart heard something. I awakened to the sweet gentle voice of our Maker. He sang these kind words over me and somehow, they registered. I pray you hear Him singing over you too.
My Beloved, Kari Jobe
You're My Beloved, you're My Bride
To sing over you is My delight, come away with Me My love
You're Beautiful to Me, so beautiful to Me
Under My mercy, come and wait
Till we are standing face to face, I see no stain on you My child
I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your care down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me
I'll breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole
"Do not fear, do not let your hands hang limp. The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." ~Zeph. 3:16-17